And my awkwardness continues. I felt the need to send him a text that said roar. I did it.
If God had a period, it would result in diet faygo redpop
I can't go out tonight I need to save my money for important things.....like rogaine and ecstasy.
Day 3. Will have to postpone job hunting by a month. May have blown out my knee. Was sunburned on Friday. Now look painted red. Still alive. All worth it.
im not picky. i just want someone whod go down on me while im writing my psych midterm paper. thats not a lot to ask.
I took his sheets with my when I left seeing that I underestimated my period. Also grabbed a 6-pack out of the fridge because breakfast is the most important meal of the day & I don't do other peoples laundry for free.
you were yelling that somebody needed to take your bra off with such enthusiasm my first thought was that you were on fire.
they have a video of him in his boxers making a snow angel in the hallway is his own vomit and coca cola.
Ultimate Fighter Idea. You and I both have unprotected sex with the same girl in the spam of days. Whoever the child belongs to, wins and that child is the ultimate ultimate fighter.
How high are you?
I lost my bra, he lost his virginity. Seems like a fair trade off.
He asked me to come stay with him so he could "see that ass and watch Harry Potter."
And then you screamed, "I JUST WANNA POUR MAPLE SYRUP ALL OVER HIM AND RAVISH HIS BODY!!"
He showed up soaking wet with a flashlight and a ping pong ball. I couldn't say no
Well we've always known you have a weakness for guys with balls in their hands
Looking back at our past texts, the minute it turned 2020 you were cleaning your house and I was dying of the cold. We were prophesying the Rona.
Oh the sweet dreamless sleep of drugs
You? On what? Why?
Randomize
