dude you need to get laid
me?
no, the other guy who hasn't been laid in 7 months
oh I thought you were talkin about me
wait
i puked out the bus window last night on the way home. i remember it, but i don't remember everyone else screaming to put their windows up.
I puked the same amount of times as the number of bars i went to last night
Id pretty much put it in anything at this point. Jello. Dogs. 12 year old boys
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Apparently I was playing rock paper scissors against myself for 2 hours in the bathroom mirror.
Took his v-card last night. Yet another experience I didn't expect to have in my thirties.
but then the words kidney pain and possible testicle shrinkage kept ringing in my head
Yeah just got a blowjob at busch stadium during the cardinals game childhood dream realized
I think I'm gonna wear a bikini to our final tomorrow...just so he knows that no fucks will be given on his test
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
They need to leave so I can start drinking shamefully.
Just wanted to say a big ole FUCK YOU for coming out to mom the day before I have to drive with her for 6 hours. Ass hat.
Which president had the biggest dick?
Take your time, I'll wait
the hot lifeguard just pulled a McDonald's cheeseburger out of her fanny pack.
I got home and he was wearing a suit. He said he reason was because it was shirt and tie Saturday and that he won't change until midnight. He then proceeded to answer the door in a British accent.
I mean...if Marco gets pregnant, it is either the spawn of Satan or the second coming of Christ (neither of which I want in my life). So let's just hope that he doesn't grow a womb and that we don't have to consider either option.
Randomize