i think the world will end when pigs can fly. think about it, everyone says blah blah when pigs fly. so shit would be going down if they ever can.
oh fuck your right
I think horse shit smells the best of all shits.
remember that night we drank a bottle of vodka and went to mcdonalds and ordered everything on the dollar menu, twice?
we can't do that now- first b/c they got rid of that menu and 2 b/c we are broke now. damn this recession.
He DELETED brick breaker off his blackberry why even bother trying to find something in common?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He showed up to the Seder drunk and tried to convince everyone that he could read Hebrew.
Bring more bourbon. Day drunk just hit another level.
i got us a cheese tray and a bottle of whiskey
ugh yes i love our date nights
I'm pregaming for my hair cut. Working two jobs definately taught me how to use my time wisely...
THE MIME IS MIMING TO BUST A MOVE KARAOKE. ALL MIME-RELATED EVENTS DESERVE CAPS LOCK
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think my hand is broken. But his nose definitely is
Note to self: the judgement that occurs when unrolling your last 5 which was used to snort drugs the night before, to pay for alcohol before noon on a Monday is worth just sucking it up and taking an overdraft fee.
Wait a min, you had drugs last night?!
If we accept the love we think we deserve do we also accept the sex we think we deserve?
All I'm saying is the next time I see him naked, there better be something in it for me that doesn't end in bailing him out of jail.
Me and Jason had to grab your legs and arms and drag you in the house. You kept screaming "leave me for dead"
He managed to rip my nipple last night....
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