Me liking this guy is the best diet ever. Do I want this cookie...or do I want to get laid.
He rubs his penis on back when he think I'm sleeping
I remember now some guy came over and hit on me and poured peppermint schnapps and chocolate syrup in my mouth. Pretty sure he was dressed like Santa....
I wore a firefighters hat and drank beer all night. They had to drive me home after breaking the beer pong table, they told me I was welcome back tonight though...
At one point last night I over heard you say " I'm gonna puke in a bag and pour it down your throat" I LOVE YOU.
Immediate regret. She's like a chihuahua on crack.
whenever he tweets that he wants to get blackout it's like a neon sign for "i want to bang you tonight"
I fell asleep on the bus and woke up in Italian Las Vegas. Europe was a successful continent for me.
Honest opinion...too aggressive to bring the funnel out to the bar? Also just so you know im at the bar. with the funnel.
He said I showed up in just my underwear and a bunch of towels I stole from the party I was at.
shes making a cheerios necklace using dental floss 'just in case' she gets the munchies later
Woke up on my sisters couch, and it was like the start of a Terminator movie,my brother in law was passed out on the floor naked in the fetal position. We now call him Arnold. It was an epic night.
PS I almost downloaded grindr to see if any guys wanted to buy me chinese food..
I left my parents and ran through the airport. I was like I'm not getting stuck in Atlanta tonight and not having sex.
How was it?
Incredible. Everyone in the world should be having the kind of sex I've been having.
He should write a pamphlet or something...
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