he sent me a winky sad face. i cannot deal this level of pathetically needy flirtatiousness.
As weird as that was it was probably the best advice i've ever gotten from a tranny
Nada. Shooting off confetti and wanted to see I'd u could see it from ur house.
Wow. Its not even 11am.
Homegirl just dropped a candle on the floor major party foul. Thought it make you feel better.
Ill trade u your bra for a run to the liquor store...
There's always time for handjobs
I pulled some girls weeve trying to pull the stop cord on the bus
He went snooping and now he's all intimidated by my super amazing box of sexy time toys.
Please stop calling it that.
he woke me up with all the stuff I had at his house in boxes i had to unwrap my own belongings and he said. Happy v-day its time to see ya day! Worst day ever
I like how I just yelled in the window at Mcdonalds drive thru, got his number and then fucked. it was like I ordered a happy meal that only can be had after midnight.
sorry I called you to cry about the state of the neopets economy
I woke up in bed spooning a vacuum cleaner
I think one make out session at a bar per year is probably the best choice.
I just found a samari sword in the couch. I'm about to take like 5 shots and pretend to be captain jack sparrow
Also, I had mind-blowing sex on a pool table
Randomize
