Doo rag and shades in the bar. You are missing your future husband.
i kept saying "bloody hell" in a ron weasley accent until i forcibly told myself to shut up
i just woke up and its 10 o'clock and the words "Robbies Fave Restraunt" and written in sharpie above my vage. Help me.
some guy just got out of his chair quietly. Laid down on the floor and is now asleep in between rows in my lecture hall. He must have had a rough night.
She's been divorced three times and use to raise cock fighters. Of course I'm interested in her
The only people who have said happy valentines day to me today have been 2 homeless people.
This hurricane was the perfect excuse to buy 2 pounds of animal crackers and a case of beer. It's on Sandy.
OMG CHARGE YOUR PHONE I NEED TO KNOW IF THIS IS A GOOD PICTURE OF MY ASS
I'm a 23 year old adult who just ordered condoms online from Target because I'm still too embarrassed to buy them in the store.
She's licking the whiskey out of the carpet. I think we may be soulmates.
This hangover is what we deserve after that level of debauchery.
Validation I posted a good pic? The lonely fuckboys send out the booty call signal. Of course I answered the call; Gotham needs its hero.
It's like I'm tryna ride my horse through dennis quaid’s vineyard
That's a sexy sentence
No I come to this class stoned every week. Except last week when I was drinking in class
So what if is hockey, you don’t turn down sex with a professional athlete. They work out all day and have amazing stamina. Your vagina will thank you!
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