she's about as cool as a sandpaper handjob.
i know he has to tuck it when he gets excited in public and all, but now he is just starting to show off.
If you don't sleep with him after showing him your thong with the bow, I am no longer on your side.
there is mayo everywhere what the fuckkkk
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so, what part of "he's slept with a guy" do you not understand?
Dontating $10 to the Red Cross relief effort in Japan for every car bomb I take tomorrow. Yes, buying me a drink just became a good cause.
there is no excuse for him not showing up to my st. patrick's day party. i touch his dick. i get him on the high holidays.
i think the penis that was inside of me changed my life
He was crying because he hiccuped every time he kissed me. We then crawled to the kitchen because neither of us could stand, and I spoon-fed him peanut butter "to cure his ailment."
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There's a naked man in my car right now.
I know, but the fabulousness of my baggies should not be what defines my business as a drug dealer.
Man, you got so high you own goaled yourself in FIFA then got up celebrating.
I would wear his ballsack as a hat if he asked me to
I'm on someone's yacht. I don't know who. But I'm on it. There's a guy passed out in a kilt holding bagpipes. Help.
Sorry I threw up all over your Lyft.
It's ok I woke up next to a dumpster.
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