If you made a robot out of pillows would he be nice? It's hard to imagine a mean pillow robot. And who came up with the idea of shaving their legs?
A guy with no shirt on and a eyepatch just got out of the car beside me. After he slammed his door into mine. This is our hometown.
hes either a crazy bad problem or a crazy good orgasm. I just can't decide which one.
Curled up in the fetal position, trying not to throw up or think about my future, and humming songs from musicals to myself. You?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I think I'm still drunk and I think you were in my dream (sadly, it was not a sexual bill murray one).
if you didn' use the plastic sword on the cop. maybe this wouldn't have happened.
We are not in a rock band. We can't continue living like this.
Fuck edible panties there is a dress made out of bacon
Yeah. It's just like I have his virginity and he has my shoes and where do we go from here.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
1) I'm a decent drunk texter. 2) My world is spinning. 3) I'll give you a dollar and a hug for a glass of water. 4) I love you. 5) Example: your penatrive ways are overwhelming my alternative lyfestyle. 6) That is all.
7) Noodle arms: engage
The example was me just using big words while hammered. You're welcome. Ambidextrious. I spelled it right.
Less than a month to go... I do not understand how I was able to put up with a roommate who wears bright green Crocs for a year.
Does me being hung over take away from how professional I can be today?
Officially the best daughter ever. I just restocked my parents alcohol that I stole last night AND ADDED TO IT
found my cat trying to steal a lighter to hide away for himself. cat what are you doing. don't pocket my lighter.
If you can wrestle my underwear off of me, you can top. It'll be like using an amulet in Legends of the Hidden Temple. Instead of not getting captured, you don't get fucked in the ass.
Randomize