Dude WTF? His teammate just started talkin to me on fb! Am I walking around with a "I like to f**k gators" on my forehead?
No, it just says ur easy
drunk enough to think that masterbating in the pool is an awesome idea
Word is he has some crazy hawaiian STD
shattered his nose in 8 pieces. Blaming it on the dog. I feel more guilty about ruining the dog's good name than I do about ruining his nose.
Apperanlty I was screaming "It's hard to swim with a broken ankle sir" and then tackled the lifeguard. The joys of blackouts
do you know how hard it is to walk a mile drunk on 151 it's hard yards are soft and every girl looks good
Handicvap rails on the toilet atre soooooo fuckin handy right nmow.
he told me he was a Boston Bruins fan so I took his hat into the bathroom and peed in it...I've never been a prouder Ranger fan
According to you, you were with your "Eskimo bro for life" last night.
That's the fall semester you first snorted drugs off my ass I think
Woke up with champagne in my hair and honey mustard on my hands. Strangely, I'm okau with this
DONT TELL ME I CANT HAVE AN ENTIRE BOTTLE OF VODKA AT DINNER. IM AN ADULT. I PAY BILLS.
Questions: How did Rachel get home? Why did I find both her ID's in my shoes? And does anyone know if she's alive?
She’s fine. Found her in the bathtub eating Cheerios and watching Rugrats on an iPad.
I just found glitter glue on my jesus bracelet...am I really that gay?
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