Dude, no joke... I lost my wedding ring in some skank last night
Just ran to the store on my way to the office to buy Diet Coke...the guy in front of me let me cut because it was 4 more minutes until 8am, so he wouldn't be able to purchase his vodka. I love Wisconsin
spell your last name, im trying to find you on facebook
jersey shore drinking game rules must be edited. almost died. how is it possible for a person to say guido that many times
A kid wearing a Batman belt buckle in my psych class just asked how people get pee fetishes. I'm too high for this.
the brownie started to kick in before i finished the essay... it became a race against my own increasing intoxication
What?? I'm covered in blood at the hospital, I atleast deserve a pic of someones boobs
i'm pretty sure they aren't charging me for that window i broke with a turkey sandwich while i was hammered.
I'm sorry. I think I have multiple personalities. Or it was the acid. Either way. I'm sorry.
You're obviously not trying hard enough. GET LAID. Kittens die for less.
Touche salesman.
Seriously? A BAR is SPONSORING my 21... What did you do for your 21 again??
I need to mount that unicorn and turn him into a full blown steed.
AND HOLY SHIT FLUBBER IS ON NETFLIX
Sooooo have your ex-girl console you over your ex ex girl that you destroyed said ex-girl over the possibility of
if they didn't want us to do blow at uni, why would they make textbooks so smooth?
Randomize
