I am a bulletproof tiger!
Haha. Nice, be careful tonight.
I'm gonna have to get my windshield replaced. Is the keg beat?
Hard rock hotel, wtf why am i still out, im gonna fuk 5 chix 2nite .maybe
is 69 when you're sideways or up & down? I was on my back & confused.
Her birthday cake consisted of a shot of tequila with a candle in it
you were asking all the dicks on chatroulette if they had daddy issues
Congratulations, you fucked a nickle into me.
Hickey on my chest, threw out my elbow and now walking out my shame.
Youre getting too old for this
They were taking shots out of the caps of perfume bottles. This is too much for me.
you invented a new sport called "bacon pulling" and you cried everytime a piece broke
do you think me going to the gyno dressed as a cat is inappropriate?
I see your boobs were ready to greet the new year.
i agree, on both the sex thing and the unrepentant bastard thing
I have a story for you. It involves waffles and getting naked with the local weatherman.
Hillary said in her victory speech "We're gonna come together". I've got a lib-boner.
She passed out in my baby sister's room so we put her in one of my grandma's diapers, put a pacifier in her mouth, put her in my sister's crib and took pictures.
Randomize
