apparently i was offering everyone ambien and shouting, it's only like heath ledger if you want it to be!
Girls are like M&M's, once the lights go out you can't tell the difference.
3 different guys in my psych class know me as 3 different names and said hi to me with all 3 different names-Andrea, Grace, and Bella
I've never been more proud of you
and i forgot to tell you that my armpit hair is now completely grown back. man i love winter.
I just want you to know IcyHot in the ear is weird. Don't ask.
I just saw her take the entire bowl of lime wedges from the bar and pour them all in her purse, and now using the empty bowl as a hat. Waiting for security to come and throw her ass out.
I no longer see him as a simple set of male genitalia attached to a very sexy body. The title "trophy fuck" seems wrong. Damn.
Oh I love our desires, it's riding my bike at 2 AM with a massive erection that I dislike.
I just wanted to warn you I have strep throat incase I gave it to that guy we both hooked up with on New Years.
Yeah even if I got stabbed it would be worth it
I paid off a credit card today. And I was tested negative for HIV. AND I did laundry. Honestly, I'm most excited about the laundry.
If by date you mean washing Pizza house down with a bottle of wine, then yes I have a date.
Does the room smell any better?
Yeah, i sprayed perfume. It smells like Victoria's Secret, if Victoria's secret was that she was homeless.
Do I go to spinning class and try to redeem myself from going drunk, or do I wait a week and hope they forget I fell of the bike?
Your cat ate my taco.
. . . I don't have a cat?
It was laying in your bed. Now it's hunting for more tacos.
Randomize
