dude! the alphabet song and twinkle twinkle little star are like the same tune
what drug did you take to come to that conclusion??
I just told this girl who bought a pregnancy test "good luck"
guys i just found a dildo in the laundry room and its purple
whats a dildo? isnt that like a fancy piece of bread?
Well, what part of "I've heard she has crabs" didn't you take into consideration?
I want to get so wasted that I make middle aged irish men look like mormon girls
soo how bad was i last night?
licking sour cream off of the table at pancheros bad.
And when he pulled me off the bathroom floor, he just looked at the cat litter stuck to my chin and said "oh sweetie" and shook his head. I think my dad's officially given up hope.
They're pole dancing on a handicap sign post.
Trust me at the end of the night there will be queso smothered places you didn't think it could be smothered
I also like to call Halloween "Mystery Fuck Day"
Then you better bring Starbucks and a box of condoms in the morning.
Oh shit. This is getting real.
But really, someone with a penis give me attention before I start posting nudes on Instagram.
I don't care how hot he is. I will not strip for him to country music.
I have tasted many bathrooms
Coffee's working. Just killed a fly with my bare hands.\nFuck with me.
Randomize
