i wish swine flu would become a total pandemic so we cld be rid of all the people that are complaining about it
I almost didn't wake up for my first day of work. The 3rd bottle of champagne was a mistake. And the 2nd bottle of wine after that was probably excessive
you should have heard her the other night. no sentence related to one preceding it. it was like she was in etch a sketch and when she moved she forgot everythin
and then he started using my ass as a stressball
Let's just say a refrigerator got involved and after that I had to send him home.
you're by far the better bro. your dick is more impressively sized, anyway
I hate that you know that from experience
I walked into the kitchen and twelve of them were just staring at the oven. Freshmen are the weirdest drunks ever.
I can feel my pain tolerance has shot up right along with my libido
We decided to keep having sex while I ordered the pizza. I wanted extra pepperoooooooooooooni.
So we stayed at his mom's and all got drunk and he and I hooked up in his old bedroom. Then his drunk mom came in and tackled us when we were still naked. Why does this keep happening to me?
I might run out into oncoming traffic. Id rather break my legs and/or die then continue with today.
I feel like I was playing penis roulette last night nd I landed on the wrong one.
I feel like I put a fire out with my hand but idk if that was a dream or not
She puked on the floor because she said she really liked to clean.
your mission the party friday: cockblock me at ALL costs. I've cheated on my boyfriend twice. I feel like three times would be crossing some sort of line...
and no, I don't care how how hot he is
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