Fucking freshmen need to learn how to puke in the bushes outside the dorm and not in the fucking elevator.
He just asked me to pee through my panties while he watched. I might need more tequila for this one.
My fingers feel amazing. Their going like 100 MPH!!
HOLY SHIT. SHIT THAT IS HOLY. HOLY OF THE SHIT.
He's laying next to me passed out dressed as a hooters girl
I bet he's a super pretty hooters girl
next time we make out at a concert please try to refrain from screaming out our hotel room number.. the amount of guys that knocked on our door after you passed out was ridiculous
I wonder how your parents would feel if the scarf they gave me for Christmas is mainly being used for a blindfold during sex...
He sent me a picture of him trying to push his cock into a Gatorade bottle. I dont know if I'm impressed it didn't fit and disgusted that he sent me something so vile.
I watched Morgan Freeman explain the existence of nothing, now I'm afraid of sub - atomic particles. these egg rolls are outstanding
Money making scheme, blow job proof mascara. Waterproof is bullshit
I walked outside and found some random guy passed out on our front porch. We managed to acquire the 12 pack of lagers he had so it's all good.
you woke up this morning in a laundry basket, only wearing rainboots.
Watching porn.....Adele is playing in the background...so many emotions right now...so many.
If it makes you feel better he's in the stall next to me and I'm taking a diabolical shit. He's complaining
Well, if you do die, I'll bedazzle your coffin.
wow. that really looks like a penis. not a top hat
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