I remember going home with 2 girls. Woke up with 4.
I thought she was going to get passionate and throw her on the bed and fuck her, but she just started breaking stuff.
That's the thing about women.
Does it bother you that I left your underwear hanging in a tree at the zoo? i think the turtles are enjoying it.
I love taking my adderall while im in class! As soon as I take the pill out everyone around me just stares in envy!
Today was the day I stopped kidding myself and started buying the handle of vodka.
And then out of the blue she sent me a youtube video mashup of cats puking to techno music
She has puke in her hair, is missing a shoe and is now crying. People trust her to be their child's teacher
she's crying and begging for her chapstick and insisting on walking home...her every thursday ritual
We didn't have a blender for the margaritas, so she tried to use the garbage disposal and wasted half a handle of my grandpa's good tequila.
Today is leap day..... If that's not an excuse to blackout all day I don't know what is
Hey, I got 20% of the people home that I was responsible for. I can't be expected to do much more.
True freedom is running around a sex club in former power plant in Berlin wearing a boots, a jock
Last night you texted me "tqiirkykbg doe freedom always"... why?
this new dose of ADD meds is totally being waisted with the unemployed new graduate thing if only I could add my hyper focused side effects to a coverletter
And thanks! There are perks to polyamory. And birthday orgies are one of them
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