I think my penis got bigger when i lost weight
i woke up to 115 texts from him all saying "do you love me??"
Well, it's 24 hours till finals. I need high A's on all of them and I still am not sure where exactly on campus most of my classes took place.
She jerked me off while she drove us back from Denver going 70mph. It was both the scariest and most erotic moment of my life.
He was just laying on the stairs and then screamed, "Is that a clubhouse?" I haven't seen him since
As i looked at his penis, it stared back into my soul. No more drinking games.
I want to die. Marc and I were making out in the hallway and fell into a fire hose in a glass case. It shattered everywhere. Everyone thought we fell out a window. I think I have glass in my back. Awesome.
Come back I feel like I ticking time bomb of
of drugs
I should come with a disclaimer that reads "bad at relationships and defensive when confronted about it"
or maybe "WARNING: picks fights when bored"
Hahaha she was way into you and you kept arguing about burritos. It was amazing.
My entire grocery store purchase consisted of Little Debbie snacks and Budweiser
Cocaine is ok on a cleanse, right?
Long fucking story. But hey I got an orgasm and breakfast so I'm winning.
- I'm finally learning to be functional when I'm high. I feel like this is a milestone.
Is she still on a quest to lick every stranger that enters the bar, or have the restraining orders reached critical mass?
Randomize
