My boobs aren't big enough for this kind of lifestyle
going to class early so i have time to go on the moonbounce. this is why i go to art school.
Canada just beat USA, the sad part they still need us to make money so who really won
i kind of just want to tell my cleaning lady I'm an alcoholic so it's not awkward when I stumble out of my room to go sit in my car for 2 hours and wait for her to finish cleaning the several empty bottles of wine in my room
want the rest of his teeth to fall out while he slowly dies alone. Pretty sure I'm to the anger phase.
As I type I'm climbing my cousins swingset so I can take a nap inside the slide. Fuck this hangover. I always win.
Naw, the sex dungeon had to come down so we could build a nursery. Cause and effect really.
YOU'RE CHANGING THE SUBJECT. I CAN BLOW SOMETHING UP OR I CAN TELL HIM YOU LOVE HIM, BUT ONE OF THE TWO IS BOUND TO HAPPEN
Either that or he's gagged in a strangers trunk right now.
Well I suppose either way he's learning a pretty tough lesson right now.
For Halloween this year I'm going to paint myself in gold, wear a golden toga and sash saying " cunt goddess"
You can fuck right off with that, "If the earthquake isnt bigger than 5.0, we native Californians dont get out of bed." I am from Chicago. I can handle freak flash floods, polar vortexes and tornados. But my bed violently shaking at 6:30 in the morning is cause for some understandable concern.
It was a mess. I sat on the kitchen floor with maple whiskey and cried into a bowl of poutine. I've never even been to canada
Eh. Fuck him. He's missing out. I'm legit naked and drinking straight from the bottle of wine.
you ass-dialed me while you were fucking my ex.
that was on purpose.
Judging from the sharpie on my face, glitter on my chest and women's tiger print panties i'm wearing last night was a thing.
Randomize
