Have you come up with a team name for the beer pong tournament on Saturday?
We can be the stepdads. If anyone asks why say because we beat you and you hate us.
def just vomited mimosa in the gym trashcan. i weigh less already so i say its been a solid workout.
i figure now that we're number one party school im obligated to black out at least 4 days a week. andddd go.
God you people are gross. Come collect your unconscious friend.
I thought of you this morning when I woke up in a bed with a girl wrapped in duct tape dressed as a coors light can.
I have the slightest memory of swinging a bag full of condoms over my head...
Food poisoning on first date... Still rode the mechanical bull like a champ
Typing up notes at the bar and doing shots with the bartender until close on a Wednesday. This is what my second year of law school has become.
Got another job?
If by job you mean clever way of getting free tattoos, then yes. I got another job.
Some guys phone started vibrating on the tv. I answered mine. That's how high I am.
I'm fucking sick of guys. I think I'm going to date myself. No drama. And I know I'll always put out.
I'll have sex with you for tacos. I don't care, man.
I will buy you batman underwear babe. I'll make sure you wear them every time we have to adult.
I shit like a lady though so that rarely happens
Just heard a 15 minute program on the radio about how cases of gonorrhea in the throat and rectum are skyrocketing in the US. Almost crashed laughing so hard.
Sorry, who is this??
Randomize
