Ugh I have so many sins to confess tmw at church, you just made me think of many more I've made on that street alone
I may be a little high but I'm pretty sure my alphabet soup has only Os in it
We call that spaghetti Os
I'm so never shaving my vag in a target bathroom for him again.
Did you really end last night's sexting with "Stay thirsty my friend"?
And when he pulled me off the bathroom floor, he just looked at the cat litter stuck to my chin and said "oh sweetie" and shook his head. I think my dad's officially given up hope.
I dunno... But she calls vodka "dancing juice"
She refuses to believe she pulled down her pants and spanked her ass in front of us
I'm having one of my monday morning walk of shame coffees if you care to join.
On the 3rd day, she mixed sangria and orange juice and saw that it was good.
Dang. We need a girls trip ASAP. Preferably in a country who has even lower standards than us on a Friday night.
My therapist keeps stopping to ask what 'hooking up' means
ITS ORAL SEX CAROL
somebody should make me the poster child for not drinking everclear..
He couldn't give me an orgasm, but he did give me a UTI.
what is considered shitting yourself?
Like my underwear wasn't soiled, but there was definitely a departure from my asshole.
I watched a compilation video today of a guy banging his sex doll to edm music. I just had to tell someone.
Randomize
