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toast her oven
toast her strudel
inspect her gadget
The human being growing inside of her was a mistake. Lets just hope the boyfriend isn't.
my clit piercing makes the metal detector go off
If theres one good thing that came out of our relationship its this chicken recipe. And squirting.
I tried to put a seat belt on in the shower. And I'm 80% sure I ate soap.
She tried to escape and she fell and hit the door. She's gunna freak when she wakes up with only half a tooth.
Its amazing how creative youll get when your house has been out of toilet paper for a week and a half
im pretty sure your bra is in my room hanging on my shark pinata
I don't go on dates. I watch tv and play with dicks. dinner is a situation.
we should drop off a car at the police station before going out tonight so we can drive home in the morning
Apparently we both projectiled on Erin at the same time.
That's some true roommate bonding right there.
She interrupted us having sex in the tent by threatening to kill us if we "got cum on the lasanga."
Apparently he's into classy girls that wear sweaters and don't throw up on him when they go out.
I love THIS fish, the rest of the ocean can go fuck itself. I am ahab and he is my whale
Debating going to the grocery store with my vibrator still in, cause I can't stand the idea of it out. Lets do some risk/reward
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