Is it sad that I'm on the stopduiaz.com website and there is a cute boy but it will never work between us because hes in jail for 17.5 years?
Um.. is it mean if I say yes?
How would my first penpal letter even go? "Hey saw you on stopduiaz.com, sucks you killed that motorcyclist. Whats your favorite thing to do on the weekend?"
I was 10 minutes late leaving for lunch today because I couldn't lose a boner. It is impossible to tuck it when your shirt is tucked in...gotta quit facebook stalking hot chicks at work
a girl just told me i should have been born earlier in the alphabet
Walt I've been the third wheel taking shotssssssssssssssssolo. Each s is for each solo shot.
Just came out of my room at 8 AM to find 2 pounds of raw hamburger and a half eaten cake strewn across the hallway. And I'm not surprised at all.
Why have her stay eight hours when I only last eight minutes?
My night ended with Em alternately crying and throwing up in the arms of a guy wearing a cutoff and a tiara. I sat holding a garbage can and wine glass full of water wondering how our night got to this point.
No im the worst roommate ever. Just dump a bucket of water on my head at 8am so i can suffer like i deserve to.
She's doing hand stands on the train as I type. Idk if I'm impressed it embarrassed. Or turned on.
A man that refers to my vagina in third person is a man after my own heart.
You were dancing with a coffee pot of rum in one hand and a joint in the other. So that should explain everything.
I feel like i'm walking on a never-ending field of baby sheep.
Besides the kids on acid... I was the highest kid there
The fact that I took a nap during my midterm shows exactly how I handle being an adult
My dad is blowing up my phone with pictures from the midget wrestling match.