Your dad touched me again.
I'm home alone watching The Hills seasons, eating pickles and drinking straight rye. I just googled "how to make friends". Probably not the most pro-active solution. Help.
I'm timing the release of my poops to the sound of the machine gun from the video game he's playing in the living room.
I just criticized a porno's use of editing. Film school is ruining me.
found a naked boy completely buried under a pile of her clothes and terrified...she says she was "saving him for later"
I now have an ENTIRE drawer of unused disposable silverware from Boston Market... and you guys said I needed to "buy" kitchen stuff
I want him to be my next love. So I'm taking it slow
As in ill only blow him next week
Their was just 7 people standing outside eating a costco chicken, definitley at the right party
I have now added draft and wells specials that different bars have to my blackberry calendar.. Help me.
I totally intended to come to the hotel, but I woke up in a parking lot
The struggle is real.
Just smoked a joint with the hottest patient. God I love night shifts.
I can't sleep. My mind keeps asking "turn down for what?" but it won't accept any of my answers.
We duck taped Dave to a rolling chair and shoved him in the bed of the truck then took off for a bit.. We didn't explain it that way when the nurse asked what happened though.
There is no issue with you seeing me...morally or ethically. we'll update your resume anyway. I really need to have sex with you later. Really
I'm being hhit on by creepy guys please come one bought me a penis hat balloon animal save meeeee
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