I never thought I'd hear the words "aww you pulled out" and "you're so sweet" in the same sentence.
like the penis drawn on my face is so detailed and well done, i'm not even upset about it.
The last thing i remember is saying breakfast beer and carrying the keg to my room and locking the door.
update: ifinallt managed t5o be in a. Horizontal position without throwing up... the snmall victories.
What's a nice way of saying "You fell asleep, and I got bored, so I made out with your brother"?
You could have chosen coming to fuck me over getting too hammered to drive. But you made your bed, and now you get to jack off alone in it.
I plan on being naked for at least 2/3 of the wedding.
hey, being drunk and dumb is my thing. Don't take that away from me.
Deciding whether to take my sex toys home for Christmas will be the biggest decision I make this holiday season
I hope you have irresponsible drunk insurance because you're about to pay a deductible
I should have known when she said it would be "fun" we'd end up in the hospital
Got a $290 noise violation last night for shouting "THE KING OF THE NORTH" til 2 am
It was pretty awesome. I drank out of a stein and attempted to dance to dubstep with some older guys in leiderhosen.
He pulled out the guitar, sat in tub, and took requests while she puked her brains out in the toilet. I think he loves her.
right after that u started calling me g-force and started trying to bellyslide down his drive way
Randomize
