I woke up this morning and the first thing i saw was the harry potter tattoo on his left butt cheek.
she was like a sexier Rosie O'Donnel
I'm proud of our boobs and what they could potentially achieve in life.
Apparently i was peeing on things and marking my territory. I broke their light socket too. Needless to say im banned from their apartment.
There was no way out of it, seeing as I left my photo ID right next to the vomit.
and this is why we should make december sharting awareness month.
i just peed with my friends in your backyard... do you still live here
Just in case you were wondering..... I really did just wave goodbye to you with my penis.
I remember fighting the chubby dude and the bouncer put me in the full Nelson. Woke up this morning with a dislocated shoulder. We need to finish the rest of this beer though
Hey man. We haven't met but my name is Ben. I threw up a bunch at your house last night. I heard you smoke though so I'll smoke you out anytime.
her dad gauges his nipple piercings.
That moment when your mom is so drunk she makes you get out of bed to lay in her bed because she thinks it feels like sleeping on a marshmallow peep....
so i was thinking... those 6 am shots weren't really needed.
THE SUN DOESNT SET TIL 647 YAAAAASSSSSSSSSS. Goodbye seasonal depression hello regular depression
I just bartered a blowjob for the ex-fiancée's engagement ring. FTW!
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