Worst part of St. Paddy's...me drunkenly crying to a U2 cover band.
So there's 10 guys in this picture..I've made out with 5 of them. does this make me a slut?
eh 50% isn't bad..i'd say 80% is slut material.
can you put a coffee maker in the dish washer? yo know what, nvm i want to be surprised
Also, fighting a very strong urge to nickname your dick Whitey Bulger, at least for today.
this is what happens when you pick a roommate a year in advance.. she ends up hating you for hooking up with for of her extended family members
do you know how much drugs we can buy now that you got that raise at work
He's like the unplanned child of drunkenness
I had 17 beers 2 days ago. I'm not dad material yet
Woke up this morning with an extra $35 and someone else's ATM receipt. How much did I drink last night?
I just slapped myself in the face with my dildo and I know that's a weird thing to share but I just had to tell to someone omg I'm laughing so hard
Bumble is fuckin insane here. I'm going to break a hip.
I love him about as much as I'd love fucking myself with a cactus.
To be honest, the last time I saw him he had a jesus costume on telling people to pray to his bible.
So he's at the chuch?
No, hooters.
Oh please. Preoccupy yourself with my penis.
We are so disgustingly codependent and I wouldn't have it any other way
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