brad dismisses pussy with prejudice
Holy jesus god. My teeth taste like street.
im vomiting on the 4th floor cause no one knows me there
Our cab driver just admitted to beating up kids in the 60's who didn't smoke pot...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Haha so I huess that means he's a little over 7. I can use my throat as a ruler!!
One less school supply you need to buy!!
2nd semester senior, always drunk. at this point if i don't get a good parking spot, i turn around and drive home
I don't even want to go. i just want to be a hermit and live in a cave with an elephant that pisses vodka
Times like this, when you talk openly about Tinkerbell being your spirit animal, are times when I'm allowed to question your sexuality.
I was so high I told him we should rub faces and pretend to be wombats. He was surprisingly enthusiastic about it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
They said I was more of a mess than the German. I have achieved the unachievable, you may bow down to me
Just got outta the drunk tank! Happy 21st birthday!
She's opening her family birthday cards at the bar. So we can pay our tab. Bitches wrote checks :(
I was like kind of drunk but mostly just very enthusiastic about beyonce
So you let the Viking explore your nether regions?
You start to question your morals when you wake up at 430 and there's three people naked...that you don't no
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