ugh the "ive seen you naked on the internet" look is really getting tiring
Wife passed out. Doing shots with the hot bartender... Don't tell me I don't know how to celebrate a 1yr anniversary
I also tried to drunkenly adopt a kitten last night. It didn't pan out.
He purred while eating me out. HE PURRED AND I LIKED IT.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
On one hand it was kinda weird his girlfriends stuff was at his apartment. On the other hand it was kinda nice because she had great shampoo
For breaking and entering. I think neighbor dan cared more about me puking in his backseat than the surprise of me waking up there
Just fell off my bed trying to pose and take a nude for you. Probably broke my wrist
Well in other news, my nipples are healing pretty well but next time I get drunk and decide to pierce something please for the love of god stop me!
It's a good thing you're straight. You'd make a horrible lesbian.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We got drunk, we had raw sex and we discussed about the showrunner change in Doctor Who, in that order.
I couldn't figure out what was more important, finishing the shot or putting out the fire on my leg.
The end of the friendship was inevitable. I hooked up with her cousin and forgot to mention it to her
I wish drug dealers had sales for the holidays
All I could think about was how many vaginas had been on the toliet that I was pukin in
the orange of my hangover Tang is hurting my eyes... my coworkers knew it was hangover Tang too.
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