Doing final review now. Then epic shit. Then going to take it. Should start it be 1030. Done by 2. Drunk by 3. Hammered by 4. Blacked out by 5. Streaking by 6. Jail sometime after that
i don't know whats more disturbing, that his dog drooled directly into my mouth or that i was too drunk and tired to do anything except let it be there.
He told me that "my little fuckpig" was a term of endearment in Britain. I think I'm in love.
the last call horn was blaring when I tried peeling you off the bathroom floor than you uttered "Ill take the toothless one.'
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I created a photogrid for every picture he has ever sent me of his penis. Now I can see every angle at one time. THIS IS GREAT.
Bring scissors.....i think im gonna have to be cut out of this damn jockstrap
I seriously just caught my Pina colada from falling of a table perfectly facing up. I will now reward myself by finishing this one and then getting my 8th
Dude, he's legal now. You could not pry me from his dick with the jaws of life.
Come back I feel like I ticking time bomb of
of drugs
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It's like they're playing jeopardy and the category is "things that make women dry."
I'm sorry if you weren't drunk enough to be peer pressured into the naked dancing/group make out that transpired last night
I'm excited I love mornings when I'm not sober
Keep in mind this was 2012... YOLO was a very new concept.
Btw I appreciate you as a friend for taking the time to validate my sluttiness
I want you to remember that you started masturbating in front of a car full of people. That drunk.
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