are you wasted or are you getting laid?
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wow
just had an encounter with drunk people from out of state at dairy queen. they wanted to stay till march to see the high school play.
next time the cops show up in riot gear we should probably leave
and miss being on the news....no way
Technically this isn't a church so we could have been drinking this whole time.
he then proceeded to tear down my curtains, wrap them around his waist, and use the rod as his "rod"... you tell me how drunk he is...
Your sister reminds me of me at her age. Stop her while you can.
I've hooked up with three guys in my accounting class. I'm beginning to think my teacher failed me so I can start getting laid again.
she's walking down the hall in a thong and one flip flop and one ugg
You just kept yelling at the cabby "I own this cab" and insisted on smoking with all the windows up
My usual answer of have sex with it doesn't work in this situation
I've never wanted to punch a 94 year old woman in the vagina, and then call her next of kin to tell them I just muff punched their Gam Gam until today.
I woke up with my face covered in mustard. Your mom said I ate hotdogs like a pornstar
You then played what you called "a smooth jazz rendition of talk dirty to me" all thrusting your crotch at the bartender. Mom looked horrified, but my dad couldn't stop laughing
I'm in the woods tripping balls the water is rising why don't you answer me
We banged in my car doggy style with my head out the window. The sky was marvelous and I saw a shooting star. Its destiny; we're meant to fuck forever.
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