your drunk exhusband is tryin to get with my drunk exgirlfriend. i think its funny. if you still talk to him dont say anything.
we're not divorced.
In a few years, 50 babies 50 states. Like it?
he just sent me a friend request on facebook. i wish it were physically possible to vomit on him through the internet.
I got "discovered a new religion high" last night
My T9 text prediction thing keeps predicting every next word is going to be "midgets".
She's a freak. I've got the scars to prove it.
while being fingered today, I was told I have an abnormally deep g-spot. Now you know, I am a size queen because of SCIENCE.
Judging by her face, I'd say she's at least dabbled with meth...
Man, i was looking at the pictures i took last night in one i was on the Kentucky line fist pumping with a hobo..wth happened?
Ran into his mom at the bar, i told her "i know he's married now but I'd still do him"
So stoned i forgot i was in bed
Do you understand how hard it is to go down on a guy underwater? Didn't think so....
Best neighbors ever! They found the guy ive been wanting as a booty call and got me invited to the party the guy was at and gave me alcohol so i could be tipsy when met him. im never moving.
If you had a good reason for throwing the toaster at the wall, now's a good time to tell someone. My parents are on their way back and you know my dad and his pop tarts.
Thanks for not letting me get involved with a serial killer. That's true friendship
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