You were wearing a sombrero. And a crown. And told me to use the nerf gun to protect your room from the cat. You don't have a cat.
he just had his sister send me a message about how he's not a creeper
Was his mother too busy breastfeeding him to do it?
That shit is worth it...they got medicine for that now a days
He won't talk to me. He'll only communicate using scissors
I swear it started with good intentions but then my slutty side took over and we started playing strip checkers
I stayed up for hours making sure you didnt pass out in a mountain of your own puke. But when I heard you yell AWWWW FUUCCKK, somehow I knew everything would be ok
There are fucking limits. Jerking another guy off in the bar toes the line.
All i remember about last night is holding a bottle of bacardi and screaming challenge accepted!
Completely smashed, masturbating to the view of the ocean. Family vacations are more tolerable than I thought
omg this is getting ridiculous. nobody's vagina should ever be this neglected.
Just had an orgasim to the Star Spangled Banner so.. it was all worth it.
If I'm gonna have a rotation of guys, I really should stop them leaving boob bruises...
He stole my heart. I stole his identity.
In other news, I’ve officially fucked a grandpa.
Broken heels while double fisting margaritas, picking up shirtless, bloody men and escorting them out of harms way, the meltdown when I realized I can go without a bra bc my boobs shrunk, the morning vodka red bull you were forced to drink? Which one roped you in?
Randomize
