Hehe I wanna Australian kiss.. Its like a French kiss but down under ;)
worst. lesbian. ever. i'm not sure she knows a clit from a pencil eraser.
I didn't join FB to see my only child straddle that boy in all her pictures.
How did currency from Costa Rica make it's way into my wallet...?
You tried to tell her that the salad was an afrodisiac then proceeded to stroke yourself with the feather duster
I found the bottle of ketchup and sobe you tried to hide in the middle of the lawn last night
If youre wondering about the smell, i set your hamster on fire. But don't worry he's ok
I think it really helped to be hungover at accepted students day. it gave me a good feel for how it would be everyday if I go there.
So I just bought e from my sophomore home ec teacher. How's your weekend going?
She came 4 times, called me a god, then made me breakfast. I don't think she is ever going to leave
I woke up to some strange woman rubbing peanut butter on my thighs
Yeah, I got home from work at like 9:30, and he was passed out on the couch wearing only a tee shirt and The Jurassic Park theme on repeat.
He took me out to dinner to tell me we had to stop fucking so randomly
Honestly wish he pleased me as much as queso does
I either have a problem or a really good solution... I just ordered my homecoming dress off of a website that sells forplay outfits.
Have you ever thought, hey maybe the reason we were togather that long was because I was drunk the whole relationship?
Randomize
