I wish scraping a resin bowl could be considered cleaning.
You know how i spent all of black friday on the plane? Well guess who's getting a x-mas gift from skymall?!!??
I'm pre-party power houring. It's so catchy I couldn't not do it
I found a horn on the street but it's okay I disinfected it with vodka
My mom just admitted you were a good looking kid & if you weren't my friend & 30 years older she would do you. I'm going to commit suicide.
I loved your drunken rendition of "I wanna dance with somebody" that you left on my voicemail last night.
there is a money trail leading from my bathroom to my living room.. the trail ends with a half eaten bag of chips with a note that says "magical chipz".. who am i?
You almost set me on fire last night.
You probably deserved it.
Haha, oh man. I'm awake now. Slept in my headdress.
I found an inside smoking lounge. I'll be here for the next 4 hours. A nice old Canadian lady has befriended me and let me use her lighter. Fuck Hartsfield-Jackson AND this layover. I win.
these people use weed stems as birthday cake candles. I'm never coming home
Crying while listening to Miley Cyrus. BE GLAD YOU JUMPED THIS SINKING SHIP!
Validation I posted a good pic? The lonely fuckboys send out the booty call signal. Of course I answered the call; Gotham needs its hero.
remember that party we went to sophomore year where we found that girl and had the orgy? Im totally at that house right now.
I am NOT losing my v-card to a guy who doesn't know my ass from my elbow.
Randomize
