fucking a dude
i mean: fucking a, dude
wow, that comma made all the difference there
ofcourse shes the first one pregnant. wasnt she the one who asked the middle school health teacher how many calories are in sperm?
Is there a nice way of saying 'touch my penis or i dont really wanna hangout"?
I just accidentally stumbled into an AA meeting...I think its a sign
I cant talk about it right now or let you guess, but its something you and i would do. Kinda like that time we had the case of beer and went bowling
You hooked up with minors in a golf cart?
Just curious... Do you still have the cocks bracelet? You know, the one we pass around to whoevers been the biggest slut recently?
tequilla shots with my grandparents? christmas visiting just got so much better
The bartender asked if I wanted a to-go cup for my crown and coke.....I just realized I'm back in Montana and fuck did I miss home.
You fed me pizza off a sword last night.
I feel like a pet sloth would complement my lifestyle.
The annual Father's Day Wake and Bake has been canceled due to lack of hustle.
i was asked to be gay of honor by three different girls and NONE of the groomsmen at any of the weddings is open to experimenting. i mean whats the point then.
My neighbor was my D.A.R.E officer and I feel like I've defeated him by smoking weed outside everyday
The seven of us sank the first paddle boat, but the second one was much nicer and we stayed afloat. Best night in a while, but we had to walk of shame for a mile.
Why are you rhyming?
Too stoned. That is how my thoughts are collecting.
Are you still passed out in my back seat, or do I need to come find you?
Randomize
