you kept singing the copa cabana and saying HAVE A BANANA to random people on the street. you also went up to this poor short guy and hugged him while proceeding to yell I LOVE YOU CHILD MAN into his face. please tell me you're sober now
The douche that always wears spandex at the gym just walked into class with a dick going into his mouth drawn on his face. The professor said "rough night" and he still has no idea. Tyring to get a pic
I am growing concerned with the number of people here in cowboy hats
Had dinner with my ex husband. The box of wine is gone and I'm laying on the floor in my wedding dress. Where are you?!
You may have graduated college on time, but my 6th year ass gets to see awesome tits every day just for showing up.
Turned on my GPS and all that it said in the search bar was "beer,"
Well Its not like I planned having my potato launcher explode and burn off my eyebrow and eye lashes.. I still have my right eyebrow can't u just be happy?
We 6 way cheers-ed with French fries last night, hammered, in the booth.
Did you get an erection too during Paul Ryan's speech?
I'd like to stay optimistic, but I have this nagging suspicion my penis is in for a disappointing holiday weekend.
His friend still there? Be like "I need to see both of your dicks ASAP"
Yeah, last night in the parking lot was hot. I'm sure whoever has the surveillance tapes thinks so too.
I mentioned the porn thing he mentioned a brother it all kinda just came together
I wonder how many people saw me whip my junk out and bang it on the light post in front of holabird bar and liquors last night. I'm about tired of having to do that.
Nobody saw you except the people in the bar, because you weren't outside. You were inside, and you were smacking it on the mens bathroom door handle
I really hate whoever invented fireball.
Uhhh...I just found your 10 dollar bill in my bra. I owe you 10 dollars.
Randomize
