I want a gay best friend. or apple sauce either one is fine with me
somehow we got the entire party to start singing "ill make a man out of you" from mulan. needless to say, that kid had the best keg stand i'd ever seen.
I am highly attracted to the men and that's all i can say. I do not clap and make noises but i do turn to the side and say how i'd do incredible things to them if given the chance
maddie and i have invented a community puke bowl. explanation later
Hooking up with one of the deadbeat dads from Teen Mom does not qualify as banging a celebrity.
woke up this morning in the hall outside of my parents room with a sign taped to myself that said "im sorry"...
Seriously? A BAR is SPONSORING my 21... What did you do for your 21 again??
I convinced a shit ton of people I was a russian foreign exchange student to get free drinks. I knew learning those accents would come in handy.
YOU CHEATED ON ME WITH THE WOMAN THAT IS STAYING AT YOUR HOUSE. FORGIVE ME IF IM NOT THINKING YOUR A DEDICATED BOYFRIEND.
Fucked her on the patio while some dude drove by on a mower. He waved. Twice.
What's dad's email?
askmom@cause.idk
Giving the guy pizza was a good idea. Leaving him naked on the pool table makes you my hero
Opening my shipments of mascara and nipple pasties this morning like a boss bitch
I feel so accomplished. I've cleaned my room, done laundry, called those places, gotten jobs, and masturbated.
I'm so proud of you.
Not going to make it tonight. Some cougar at the bar just told me she has dibs on my dick.
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