??? When I first met her at the bar, she told me she was 23. After I bought her 3 shots of tequila, she told me she was really only 21. When we went back to my house, she said she was really only 19. She's still sleeping next to me butt naked. I'm afraid if she opens her mouth again I could be looking at 10 years.
Of course im so fucked up sarah. I fight away tornadoes.
Don't be a dummy cum on the tummy. Make her a slut, and cum in her butt. Have no fear, jizz in her ear. Don't be a noob, cum on her boob. Forget her rack, blow on her back. Just take off your coat and jizz in her throat. And if she seals off her holes, cum in her rolls
is that a poem?!
The required reading for this week is a paper about birds called great tits. Let's see my TA keep a straight face through this discussion.
When I got up in the middle of the night, puked in his trash can, and snuck out the front door, I pretty sure he knew it was over.
I'm ready to take a few years of my life this weekend
Just pulled a muscle trying to take a naked pic. I think it's time to start working out again.
He told me he doesn't want to fuck anymore because he needs to focus on school. Either he grew a vagina or he's secretly gay, it has to be one of the two.
Also the McRib is back. Lets get high, dress like cowboys, and eat some McRibs.
First table when you walk in. Can't miss us. I'm wearing a feather boa and a green hat
You had me at first table
I've just had two stress filled days in a row , I'm just going to shower and await your penis
I just matched the dude who's car I rear ended 2 years ago on tinder. I don't think he remembers.
I told him I was on my period but he says "I'm a doctor, you think I can't handle blood?" And just went for it. Jackpot
I accidentally sent my mom a nude picture of my ass... she replied with how did you get that angle ?
Responsible things to do when you're too hungover to get out of bed: Breast self exam.
Randomize
