i was just skypeing her and i saw the vagisil medicated wipes in the corner of her room. i'll be breaking this off tomorrow
For someone who "only drinks patron" your lack of pickiness with men alarms me
her idea of "friends with benefits" is her doing my laundry. i'm cool with it.
I think I love you, but I may be biased because we had pirate sex.
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I have no words
Neither did my mom, when she walked in on me squating with my balls in a cup of hot water.
i feel like my tongue has its own mouth, and that mouth just bit its tongue and is clenching its teeth.
... I threw up in the shower this morning
You were "I'm not drunk" drunk.
I was feeling sad so bedroom vodka seemed like the best solution at the time.
I woke up this morning to my house being turned into a bad European dance club at 8:30am. Do you know what "UNS UNS UNS" sounds like at 8:30am? Murder. It sounds like murder.
I just threw up in my front yard because my roommate was in the bathroom. Fuck New Years Day.
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Strip club or gay bar tonight?
I am an emotionally compromised bisexual.
I spanked her so hard I woke up Grandma
:(. i have vodka in a fire extinguisher. that solves all problems. except fires. it would actually make that worse.
We found you in the bathroom at 1AM throwing money into the toilet making wishes. That drunk.
.... Seriously?
Nothing cures your heart after a boy calling you unattractive than a big fat dick
I dont know. He's too private. After you fuck him find out his secrets.
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