Asian hipster sighting. About to tackle him and ask him to take me to chinatown
I did that thing where I cum for no reason again.
i just rolled a joint on the giving tree. that book has given me so much.
dad just smoked me out. he's yelling at room service for not giving him cookies and milk with his towels...we're both too high to know if thats a legit complaint.
I think I love you, but I may be biased because we had pirate sex.
I'm going to need your assistance. I cannot walk back to the house in a bear costume.
BTW my friend remembers her as "the one with the pronounced chin"
Nope, had to pee on the side got violated by tall grass. Then someone came around the corner and I had to stop mid pee to dive into the car.. Pants down
Did you just tell me you watch cartoon porn because it's more real?
I believe in your delicious
There is a special place in hell for people who only eat the center of the pot brownies.
There were firefighters and a fire truck up the street. I asked what was wrong and their exact words were "Just a tiny explosion; it'll be all right"
Relax
It's hard to relax when a woman is waxing your asshole.
not only did he puke in his mouth and hold it.. He also sneezed while doing this
I'll be coming off of 7 days of not drinking. No horse tranqs either. I haven't been this sober since I was in the womb
Randomize
