I think they should rename 16 and pregnant to "I was fucked in highschool and all I got was a baby and humiliated infront of the nation on MTV"
i went to throw her on my bed and threw her straight in to my bike
wait one more day. tuesday is my official "i hit on you and/or we hooked up this weekend" friend request day.
I want to be done crawling through windows but the sex is too good to stop...but I'm running out of excuses for where the bruises on my legs are coming from.
Under no circumstances is it ok to do naked cartwheels in front of anyone. i don't care how much ecstasy you took
Im 95% ready to shit behind 711
Yea you just drank all the Hookah water, then started talking gibberish about the Kool Aid you just drank.
I'm currently day drinking, studying and making corn. Don't tell me what I can't do.
she found out just an hour ago that she might have cervical cancer. either way we're watching 50/50 and taking a shot of patron anytime anyone says cancer.
Note to self: don't tell your girlfriends dad you can have his daughter in bed by ten and home by midnight. He doesnt find it funny
You may be in san diego, but I just watched a guy in a wheelchair sing walking in memphis for karaoke. Check and mate.
with a cock that big I don't even care that he makes a convincing drag queen
We were simultaneously boning chicks 3 feet away from each other. Do you realize how much that upped our 15 year friendship?
I'm sorry I peed on the bushes at your law firm. Is there anyway you could defend me for the ticket I'm about to get?
Why is the floor coated in a 2 inch blanket of popcorn??
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