Hey guys thanks for lettin me crash at your place for the weekend, I had a great time. PS I got three quarters of a hand job from an asian on the dance floor last night. True story.
I'm being pulled over???
For what!?!?!
??? I'm in a cab!!!!!
Well if yoir are still awake and secided to drink... You may aswell drink
That text needs to switch to water.
Weird question, would you want to do fetish porn? you get paid.
I woke up to him eating me out, listening to classical music.
My dealer's mom died on christmas eve. Is it too soon to see if he's holding?
I'd just like to inform all involved that walking into a liquor store holding a milk crate at the beginning of a night as stock ends badly
Just paid off my possession ticket on 4/20. Helloooo awesome.
Thank you for helping a fellow gay friend today. You are sublime and deserve free tickets to the Ellen show
There's a Taco Bell quesadilla in my shower caddy right now.
only I would find a long lost relative through a craigslist casual encounters ad
Everyone is a disappointment when you lose your virginity to nine inches
Why is there a wet sock in my garbage? Why did I chug so much red wine? Why was someone signing into my iCloud account at 4 am in China? Why do I do self-destructive reckless things? So many questions.
at least he now gets to tell people how he once threw a party so epic that the next day they had to clean some girl's body paint off the ceiling
Let's just say, I'm pretty sure you're banned from Skype.... like, forever.
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