Am I a whore if I make out with a boy just so michelle can't?
im bored tell me something entertaining
You got period blood on my carpet. I lied to my mom and said it was jam.
I mean I woke up wearing my bathing suit which blows my mind
you're the best thing to happen to me. closely followed by learning to ejaculate, and drugs.
it's too soon in the relationship to think about him when i masturbate. so i think about his dad instead.
No. I want him to marry me so we can spend our lives together. I also want a to-scale model of his genitals to mount above my fireplace
After so many times of carrying your puked covered clothes home in a bag on a Tuesday morning, you begin to realize that Fucked Up Mondays aren't a real thing.
My face feels like its stuck between a ball sack and an asshole.
A horseman, i repeat, a man on a horse downtown just told me i was gorgeous and my friends were not. Not drunk enough.
Please tell me you werent the one who replaced every beer bottle in my fridge with a picture of a baby kitten.
... and if i was..
Fuck. You.
Someone shat in our tub last night. I'm not pointing fingers but you priors make you a prime suspect.
That moment when you cant decide between eating spaghetti or a Popsicle for breakfast
girl pulled up to the stop sign, got out, threw up all over my hood said happy thanksgiving then drove off
I'm not in it for just the sex. If I wanted mediocre dick once a week I would have stayed with one of my exes.
Can you dump a guy for having pierced nipples or is that shallow?
Randomize
