How can something that makes you feel so good one day make you feel so bad the next?
Alcohol?
Sex with a fat chick.
girl has like over 50 stars tattooed on her front, side and back. feels like i just fucked the universe.
I drank gravy. I actually drank gravy. This is heaven.
We found a stripper pole in your closet. It seemed like a good idea. Alex will fix the hole in your wall. Sorry.
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his extensive knowledge of the age of consent laws kinda scares me....
Do you have any idea how hard it is to concentrate on legal issues with the ghost of his giant penis in me?
Dude, she brought over peach cobbler, weed and alcohol plus I'm gonna get laid. She's by far the coolest sister you have.
There is a hole in her door about 2 inch in diameter. You may see me on YouPorn
I creeped him on fb. I'm about 90% sure I just blew him in the same tux he wore for his wedding..
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That all sounds beautiful. All I have to offer is my shining personality, extensive amounts of space knowledge, and I hear I am pretty not sucky at sucking dick
Literally every boy I've dated is now in a somewhat successful band. My vagina has obviously been blessed by the rock gods.
The Uber driver took us to a Waffle House. We didn't even say anything when we got in. MAGIC.
I know I'm going to throw up tonight it's just a matter of when and where
I didn’t want to see that boob. I told her not to show me but she said “no, I’m going to show you”
So my best friends wedding ended with everyone seeing me getting eaten out behind the forbes church. Classy!
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