is it a bad sign that i now think of my run-ins with cops as "skill building seminars"?
um, yeah. i think it is.
I mean i stumbled out of the club yelling at random people" I"M GOING TO TEACH YOUR KIDS SOMEDAY!!"
And thats what homeschooling is for
God gave him joint rollers for hands
He probably smells like baby powder and sexual identity crisis.
Wow, im gonna be a great doctor..."hi let me save your life but first check out this pic of me deep throating a handle of grey goose"
I blacked in at 6:30am on the last stop on the train with a random fedora on? And I'm pretty sure I rode in a limo last night while eating pizza
Being at this stripclub only reinforces how single I am. And I was *just* becoming okay with that.
He puked in the voicemail. That's a true friend right there.
You were outside cuddling a rock singing Bohemian Rhapsody.
I clipped one of my extensions in his hair to give him a rat tail. What is my life?
I HAVENT SEEN A PENIS IN 5 WEEKS I REFUSE TO REMAIN CALM
He played Harry Potter Fan Fiction videos to get me in the mood. He might be the one.
I mean, I was expecting a little more coke snorting and a little less kids and cake
i love how you, my friend, sends me a picture of herself wearing a shirt that says "i am dead inside" and i'm just like "awww baby you're so cute"
that's just solidarity
I swear 2020 just keeps getting worse and worse
Randomize
