the guy working at the drive-thru just asked me if i wanna bang after he gets off work tonight.
given your current drought situation, im genuinely curious to know what your answer was
i told him maybe and gave him my number. sad? probably. but even if the sex is bad maybe i'll get a free burger out of it
I can't wait to see her breast feed this thing
Someone shat in the 1st floor west girls hall. Literally SHAT in the hallway
That's what she gets for taking his peeps.
I blame it on the rum. It keeps jumpng doqn my throst.
Thanks to a poorly written tweet a whole bunch of people thought I died last night.
Kinda forgot to grab tampons. Mind if I run to my house to get one? I'd rather not turn my green skinny jeans Christmas colors
Every time I see him I get horny. I can't help it!
Just stop. You're making other wives look bad. We are all starting to hate you.
We're taking a shot every time Landon Donovan takes a shot. It's clever, sort of.
Not sure. He doesn't know where New York is on a map but he gives an incredible spanking.
Who cares about New York?
well smoking weed has become a deal breaker for me so I pretty much use "let's go smoke a blunt" as an icebreaker
He's unconstrained by sanity, physics, or his liver.
The fact that you got a stranger guy to buy you a pizza off tinder makes me feel amazing
He wants to pour butter pecan flavored coffee creamer on me and lick it off. I'm like, dude, gross. French Vanilla ok? Ugh.
So how do u get your coat out of the coat room when someone is fucking on it?
What do you do when you legitimately find a hidden sex dungeon in your parents basement next to your bedroom!!?
Randomize
