i found a dude playing guitar on the portapotty
Don't be a dummy cum on the tummy. Make her a slut, and cum in her butt. Have no fear, jizz in her ear. Don't be a noob, cum on her boob. Forget her rack, blow on her back. Just take off your coat and jizz in her throat. And if she seals off her holes, cum in her rolls
is that a poem?!
Gym doesn't open till 11. I'm sure that of the other four people waiting in the lobby, I'm the only one still drunk and only going to the gym to shower.
Do you how many people I've successfully loaded into a Mazda Miata? Six. Six people. How? Strategically.
This is my first time seeing you since your lesbian experience. SO EXCITED!
After some trial and error I found soaking my balls in maple syurip helps ease the pain.
DOUBLE NIPPLE PIERCINGS ARE HORRIFYING
He called me in the middle of the night to ask my shoe size. Apparently big feet would make me an unsatisfactory third for the threesome.
I just set up a proportion to calculate how much Jolly Rancher vodka I can make with the limited amount of Jolly Ranchers I have. Finally, real-life application of math.
That awkward moment when you realize that last night you walked from in n out to petco, bought a mouse for $3, named it mogar, taught it how to skateboard on a techdeck, made it a home out of a trash can, fed it fruity pebbles and cheese, and then forgot where you left it.
The boob job was worth every penny just to see the expression of pure joy on his face the first time he saw them.
So I have now fucked both my roommates...This is why I can’t live with men.
You need a new phone. When you talk it sounds like the teacher from Peanuts while she's trying to give a blowjob.
I just split a tacobell party box with my boss. 12 tacos. We were equals for a moment.
I think I left my bra and my crocs in your room
Randomize
