he has been on a 2 week bender, has been homeless for a week and a half, and leaves for madagascar in 2 days. Do we worry or is that normal?
Your like the Mozart of blow jobs, you make every other girl seem like cheesy elevator music.
They told me you were taking cheese cube shots and chasing them with barbecue sauce... Is this true?
Have you asked your drug dealer if he wants to see harry potter with you?
Last night in my drunkenness I bought hurricane supplies which included a jug of wine and a bouquet of flowers. Apparently I'm going to woo Irene.
I just found a wine bottle in my shower. Must have been a good night.
I'm watching him slurp a whole mango out of her hand. It's disturbingly arousing.
If the Cards come back I will fly to St Louis and shit in a very public place.
I want to be the sort of person he can respect in the morning once the drugs wear off.
i think the last part kind of negates the first part there
This guy is walking around with a deer head on. Honestly what the fuck
How much money would it take for the bouncer to get us beers while we wait in line to get in?
$450 apparently whoopwhoop
He stared me down while singing "Let Me Love You" to me while we were having sex. I don't know whether to marry him or file a restraining order.
While we were having sex he asked me if I wanted to get wingstop after. I think I found my future husband.
Even with help how did you paint a bullseye around your asshole?
Ehh, the third backed out. Two still isn't bad. Who gets a bootycall to pick them up from a bootycall's house anyways? Only me.
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