quick i need to know how implid consent works for golf carts
too late i think im gettin a gcui
when i first looked at you, you weren't wearing any pants. but then i realized you had them around your neck as a cape.
I'm covered in sharpie and the girl next to me just said something smells like fried food. Hint: it's me. Why am I in class?
I took 20 bucks from you because when I woke up I saw more of you than I ever wanted to see bro.
Totally acceptable.
Do you know what your brother wants for his birthday?
Yeah he said he wants a decent blowjob for a change.
.......
I'm just looking out for you.
Cute underage boy is in my house.
OH MY GOD. DON'T DO ANYTHING. WHY IS HE IN YOUR HOUSE.
the last thing I heard was you screaming as the rodeo team herded you to the next party
her vagina just converted me to Judaism.
fuck it. im taking monday off to do some Jagering.
My body hates me. Pretty sure I drank 3 pitches full of coffee last night and took two adderal. I slept and ran a marathon at the same time. You should see my bed.
Apparently she "missed me" and the only logical solution was to fuck my brother.
It was an interesting experience to have sex while there was a triathlon going on right outside my bedroom window because it sounded like everyone is cheering for you in bed.
How supportive!
Remind me to do laundry tomorrow so i have something decent to take off when i get laid.
I have had my dick inside of entirely too many people at this wedding in order for me to be the groom. Please give me a swift kick in the dick to wake me up from this nightmare
But really, what kind of hoe life adventure in Mexico would you do that would top me blowing a trucker?
Randomize
