btw ... thanks for not giving me up as the craigslist killer
i owe you one
thanks for snagging those panties for me
Apparently he's never heard a queef, he totally thought I farted and got freaked out.
the only time it's appropriate to sing In The Air Tonight by Phils Collins is while sake bombing at Cal Beach
um or while having sex on a train
I'm so hungover, I actually considered rolling down the stairs to avoid walking.
It's gonna be pretty hard to find a homeless person that takes crackers as currency.
i proceeded to stick my hands in his pants while he continued to repeat i have a girlfriend
his dick makes me think maybe a monogamous relationship forever is possible.
only clue right now is the orange grease all on my clothes. debit card denied so I know something weird went down..
Mr. Clingalot just ran from our apartment. What the hell?
I started to cry afterward and mumble random things. Examples: "God, please don't make me be so gay anymore" and "my mom is going to be so proud of me for fucking a dude this time." It was that or let him stay the night and cuddle. I mean, fuck that horrible shit I'm a girl that needs her space.
Colombian exchange intern from my Mom's friend's ranch loves me, and is staying the night because we got each other drunk. Successful Christmas? I think yes.
Went out with the family last night and some 40 yr old lady wanted to take me home. My mom was not happy with me
The sun is out, the birds are chirping, I made some brownies, I'm not pregnant
This is literally what my 13-year old cousin said to me this morning.
You like pics of my balls that much?
I am at the store looking at frames as we text...
The only reason you haven't shit yourself yet is because you don't like having fun.
See I just want a dick that I don`t have to deal with or talk to unless it is inside me. Is that so much to ask for?
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