u sent me just one boob. one just doesnt do it for me. u dont get full on a half a rack of ribs u need a full one
He's a fan of Alicia Keys on Facebook. It doesn't NEED to say 'interested in men'.
You know... If I put the same amount of effort into school as I put into giving women orgasms I would be a Rhodes scholar
Just dominated the men's bathroom at work. Sounded like the intro of a death metal song.
Just got my period. This just makes my beach escapade totally even that much more ok.
I would not be 19 again if you paid me. Guess who found naked pictures of themselves? Fuck cocaine
Can I just put my face in your boobs and forget the world?
Idk every story shes told me thats started with "back when i was a lesbian" has been my new favorite story
I wanted to make fun of someone saying that to an untrained ear, skrillex is blah blah blah. But it was too soon after they said it. And now I can't find it. These are real problems.
It's a 'fuck poison control' kind of night.
The fact that it was "anything but a cup" now explains the cowboy boots and fishbowl aftermath at the apartment.
I tried to open a bottle of wine with toenail clippers last night. So this morning was obviously rough.
Tinder in Coventry is like browsing a gallery of mugshots from Azkaban
I dont remember you getting a condom thrown at you. I think I had a concusion
he tied his pants around my leg to stop the bleeding... i think he just wanted a good excuse to take his pants off
well did it work?
it was a success in both ways.
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