I don't get calzones all look the same but taste so different
i will be the first lesbian to ever fail women's studies.
Hippo gnu deer
What makeup look will say to the therapist 'I am a smart, well-adjusted young woman'?
Im in his room watching him sleep. Im going to try and jerk off and not get caught by the nurse.
Slutty costumes are my most sacred holiday tradition! Wearing a not-slutty costume is like putting cheezwiz on a communion wafer.
she left with her roommate. or at least i think she did. but i also just thought i ate candy corn but i'm hal convinced it was candle wax.
You. Me. A bottle of Vodka. The wilderness.
So my dealer asked me if I wanted to join his circle because we smoked so much this summer he thinks we're dealing
I tried to high-five the cop last night. he just looked at my raised hand and told me to go to bed.
Just had a VERY VIVID visualization of wrapping a pizza around my cock and fucking its brains out. Soooooo less weed more dates?
The only thing I had in my freezer before today was patron and cheese.
He told me if he passed out to wake him by sitting on his face, and if he suffocated at least he would die happy. Found the one.
he's so hot I'd consider breaking the whole, "till death do us part," agreement he's currently in
Its like a glacier coming out of my asshole.
Randomize
