i literally laid in bad for an hour last night thinking of what i'm going to name my cats when i become a cat lady.
been sitting in chapter for 25 minutes. drinking last night's franzia out of a XXX vitamin water 10 bottle. recruitment chair has no idea. life is good.
just overheard a conversation that ended in "and that's what I learned in France" How could that not have been about sex
Alcoholism comes in two forms... Us.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We are gonna be 90 years old in wheelchairs at the nursing home sitting at computers poking each other and waiting for the other to die so we will have the last facebook poke.
Bro I am trying to have one night stands nothing more, unless she is baking waffles I can eat out of her butthole I am not interested
I should know better than to trust a man I've seen cry on multiple occasions to give me accurate sports information.
I don't remember because I was drunk out of my mind, but I have it on good authority that weed cinnamon buns at 3 in the morning with chocolate milk are better than sex.
Well u missed Autumn's newly 21 yrs old sister flashing her tits and standing on the bar last night.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Someone put a huge skyy vodka bottle in our washing machine. My roommate didn't see it and ran it. The washing machine split in two. #life
Do you think if 10 year old us knew that we would be passing out in a McDonalds after a hefty night of drinking, and 23 McChickens, they'd change anything?
We might as well just set our livers out to sea on burning ships
Of course i made out w him. He was painted green. You know of my secret longing for the Hulk.
Do normal couples celebrate occasions naked with Chicken McNuggets and BBQ sauce?
I woke up handcuffed to a bed wearing nothing but an army belt. Does this count as thanking our country?
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