I was wrong being drunk doesn't make accounting more interesting
Just had to have the guy at Sprint clear the dried cum out of the trackball on my Blackberry. Wonder if that happens to him often.
So the bartender just told me that there was numerous people who saw me having sex on the rooftop last weekend. +1
I was still in a towel. We hadn't even started drinking yet and the champagne bottle dropped and exploded literally up into my vagina.
Apologies for hacking your facebook and posting that picture of you passed out hooked up to the IV...but we were sat with you on the ER floor for 3 hours, it got boring
Do you knowwwwww you never ha to pee while lhr on eztacy
I'm not as easy in Europe as I am in the US
Only because you can wipe your slut slate clean & start anew. It's a little known benefit of our currency exchange.
after she pushed someone down the stairs to get more vodka we lost her for a while and found her on the pole in the garage pouring water on herself
The guy next to me in the library just got a call from his roommate asking him to come bail him out of jail...we need to step up our game.
Dude if you're not gonna answer them I'm gonna stop snapchatting you my hook ups
He used one of his curtains as a leash and hand restraints. He wins the creative sex challenge hands down.
I'm trying to be sexual and you're sending me smashmouth lyrics
we turned the lights off and all you could see were my glow in the dark stars and his penis
I wanna suck that fisherman's dick.
A bitchslap is in order.
Randomize
