I want to see a picture of the girl worth ruining our relationship for
It took him longer to undo my bra than he lasted..
Do they fuck in the end of "Lady and the Tramp" or am i just wasting my time
just turned my empty handle of passion fruit smirnoff into a fish bowl. I love college.
After that we used the in-room hotel coffee pot to warm up some queso. it was brilliant
She can't drink and she can't smoke weed. She might as well be dead to me.
Had a farmer come into my class to talk to us today. He apparently met his wife on fb and just thanked jesus for his land. I think I am in the wrong major...
I was actually high enough at that point that I was just casually following your glowing footsteps like in Avatar while we ran from the cops.
You told the entire McDonalds staff that I was a whore and that you didn't want your french fries cooked.
No i peed with you in the toilet. The guy I high fived was mid pee in front of the urinal
He came up and told us to watch as he chugged his beer with no hands. Then asked if he could come drunk swimming with us.
bro i dont care how hot she was, you try keeping it up with the amount of puppet he had in her room, it was like fucking in jeff dunham's house
Congratulations on your downgrade, shes one hell of a 5
How many of my Tinder dates can my Christian roommate accidentally meet in the hallway at 3am before she's horrified and moves out?
I think I deserve an award for the breakup text I sent him. Like a pulitzer prize or a donut or something.
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