she calls it her "sourpuss" because everyone makes that face when they see it.
Is it possible to jerk off a nipple?
And if you don't call me, I will embarrass you publicly with a can of spray cheez.
Four minutes until I can fart!
Suck a a big bag of reindeer cock bud. Sent from church. See you in hell
Just found the bucket list I wrote when I was high...somehow I dont think "jello swimming pool" is gonna happen.
Oh, I forgot to ask if u have any idea what happened to the back of my ear and if u were present when I almost fell off the roof...
yeah, i'm not. but i'm ready for free bjs. it's just hard to find women who will give me a beej while i'm sobbing uncontrollably
I've slipped into the part of my life where I am not having sex to get Phils tickets from this chick. I need to seriously rethink my life decisions
soo...what's the appropriate way to ask to come over and take your S&M lingerie out of your ex's apartment? big weekend planned, kinda need it.
IS NO AN EMOTION BECAUSE THAT'S WHAT I'M FEELING RIGHT NOW
NO FUCKBOY SHALL PASS OPERATION #BITCHMODE HAS SUCCEEDED
This is my second month of college and all I've learned is how to get a guy to go down on me without asking out loud and not to chase everclear with Smirnoff ice.
Essential life skills
Eat, nap, & pace yourself. Words to live by.
I'm going to need you to stop harassing my professor on Twitter when you're drunk.
Randomize
