too bad you live with your parents still
PS Can you transmit a UTI to a sexual partner? I tried to ask, but the doctor just told me to abstain (sup Bristol) for my own good w/o answering
I just saw her punch a kid in the face.. i always knew she was the girl for me.
Are you being sarcastic? I can't tell this time because you're in the hospital.
Playing a game in life called "how far can I make a man travel for a booty call"
Ugh. my cast still smells like fermenting hot tub water and bad decisions.
I might not remember all of last night but I clearly remember the part where I humped the mailbox.
Bro she gave me the stare. It's like she boned me with her eyes. I'm going in.
I told him to pick up the beer can he threw in front of the police station. So he gets out chugs whatever's left and throws it back and says ok let's go.
And now we should drink to that moment where you realize you didn't exactly think things through.
That hot guy just got to class and he's eating a bagel sandwich. I dunno which I'm more attracted to
I’m a coke loving, addy selling, pot smoking CRIMINOLOGY major. If there isn't irony in that I give up.
I probably shouldn't be taking relationship advice from my side piece...
It was terrible. I am sore from head to toe, neither of us got off, and we were at it for an hour and a half, I faked having a heart episode so we could stop. It worked.
"keg stand!" on a roof abruptly turned into "call the medics"
Randomize
