So how did finding that girl you know on GGW go?
I was so pissed when it just previews her all covered up. It would have been easier to just have sex with her
Yeah but then you would have a case of genitals gone wild
Sorry I dragged you across a parking lot
i've eaten like 19 popsicles... what the fuck have you done today?
He's talking about how great of a find these dollar store condoms were. Help.
Maybe it's just my body's way of telling me I don't need pinky toes. Like I'm the next evolutionary leap or something...
Just sharpening my eyeliner with a butterfly knife. You know. Typical weekday morning.
I've never seen a guy eye-fuck someone so hard in my entire life. I thought he would develop laser vision, bore holes into your body, and not even realize your innards would be spilling everywhere. That's how bad it was.
He tried to reenact Braveheart's freedom scream but got tackled by his drunk roommate who thought he was yelling that the handle he was holding up was free.
I feel like one thing if I have going for me is that my bed looks like a nice place to have sex
Haha, how do I word that nicely? "You got me to the edge of no return twice and failed to let me orgasm, therefore you owe me chicken nuggets or hot wings. Your decision"
Just let me suck your dick and be happy. Let me have this.
I just found a samari sword in the couch. I'm about to take like 5 shots and pretend to be captain jack sparrow
He's nice and all but I think I rather masturbate my way to happiness instead.
I just described cereal to my mother as "acoustic breakfast soup".
who is this
Talk shit all you want but with my new knife sharpener I have a lethal razor sharp pizza cutter. Fuck with me Mario I dare you!
Randomize
