dude, i was at the student union last night trying to study but some retarded sorority spent an hour voting on the color of the seasons shirts like it was a UN meeting- someone motioned purple, someone objected, and half an hour later after 2 recounts they decided on purple
This chick just checked into her walk of shame on Foursquare... I think I'm in love.
We were sexting and then the radio announced robert pattinson would be playing kurt cobain in a movie and it totally killed the mood
I was in holding with a guy that got a DUI on a hover round. He was so nice. We're hanging out tonight.
Yeah... I was considering changing that part but the boxed wine is non-negotiable.
she puked ON me while she was on top, worst holiday hookup ever
ok it turns out chain mail does not protect against falling down a flight of stairs. please send help.
Ok I am NOT pregnant. I could shove coal up my vagina and my uterus would turn it into a diamond in a matter of minutes
How long is enough time to schedule homosexual exploration... Like an hour?
the liver wants what the liver wants
What kind of sociopath goes to sleep at 9pm when I clearly need attention
I've never seen so much of my blood outside me. After the initial shock it was kind of cool.
The not so cute guy next to me made me play Kid Rock on the jukebox but I'm a big believer in free drinks so I obliged.
You sat outside petting a picture of your cat for hours... not even the real thing... just a picture.
I will warn you that there is a pic of me riding a buffalo....and for the record, I was completely sober!!
Randomize
