glad you had fun, i did too. am rubbing aloe on my butt now.
So...it's hour 4 of day 5 of week 7 of my internship, and so far all ive done is shred paper. all. day. long. it's like working for Enron.
Bad idea. College students cannot afford both alcohol and a cat. Unless said cat is irish, and can feed itself with fifths of whisky.
Yeah. she rolled up to the party on a unicycle then peed in the bushes. TA of the year.
Did we literally take a cab across the street
he just used "boss" and "boner" in the same sentence. I cant respond.
Be careful. Don't drive if your body turns into a caterpillar again.
Hey remember that night when you sang Fergie to me? I think that's the exact moment in time when the thought "I could be faithful to this man" came into serious consideration.
WHY DO I WANT TO FUCK EVERY GUY THAT BREATHES
we got her to the bathroom intime. all she could say was 'now my bladder is empty just like my soul'
you stole two subs and a drink from jimmy johns and walked out yelling "get at me bitches"
Text me all the things you want us to do this summer. So far, I have Kegstand written down
I'm fucking a man old enough to be my father who is also dating my boss. What have you done with your life?
She sent me nudes via email. What the fuck are we still in the 90s? Grow up
I'm going to a one year olds birthday party to smoke weed. What has my life become.
Randomize
