butt plug
anus plug
rubbish cock?
yes
you suck at this game today
Just cropdusted the office
dude i just heard a girl tell another girl 'what part of im trying to get laid tonight dont u understand?'
needless to say i wont be back home tonight
No, I'm not okay. Girls are wearing BUMPITS here.
mimosa in my stainless steel water bottle. going green is not that bad.
You kept telling that ginger girl, "it's not your fault, it's not your fault, it's not your fault."
My grandma paid her handyman in pain killers. I now know why this is in my genes
My mom just found some of our lube mixed in with my box of pots and pans. I hate moving home.
I prob couldn't even get his attention if I had a dick growing out of my forehead
don't judge, it's breakfast wine Wednesday.
My mom just asked me if I can obtain a fake ID by thursday
My manager just held my hair while I threw up in a dumpster. New low.
All right well I’m making her sugar cookies and sleeping with her husband tonight. Just another manic Monday
I have 4 more smokes and 6 more beers to go before I make a life changing decision like that.
If waffles and beer don't scream "fuck me!" then I don't know what else to do.
Randomize
