And then falling down drunk the next morning, concussing yourself and splitting your head open?
That was pretty sad, but you more than made up for it by using "concussing" in a sentence
I'm bringing in a picture of a stranger on facebook to get my haircut. I have reached a new level of creepy.
Somehow I managed to make my Dunkin Donuts uniform look slutty. And I'm not even wearing hoops.
I wish I had a frozen water bed.
best. idea. ever.
I bet you think you're really funny for switching my line of coke with a line of protein powder.
i think i'd rather have a trophy of a like jizz stained curtain or something
Banging bitches in a bar bathroom is not legit as it was in college, there are no fistpumps afterward only shame
I cant do that to my vagina yet. its my prize posession.
the last thing i remember is yelling at the cab driver that i'm really good at drive by vomitting.
I just found a tail you can wear naked. Via a butt plug. Who ever said the internet was a good thing?
I rolled out of the car, crawled on all fours to the door, did somersaults all the way to my room, and then I ran across the parking lot to tell our neighbor you wanted to bang him. I'm not even sure if it was the right guy.
If I had cancer, and got to make a wish, id make the organization force your dad to fuck me.
When you text me tomorrow to remind me to mail your parking pass, also remind me to make sure i did NOT pack my vibrator for this family vacation
We just took back to back grav bong hits and are playing battleship. She guessed Z - 12 so weve switched board games.
how much do I hate his dog? was just googling to see if you can rent a hungry eagle for the weekend hate.
Randomize
