your drunk exhusband is tryin to get with my drunk exgirlfriend. i think its funny. if you still talk to him dont say anything.
we're not divorced.
I am doing a scientific study and i need a brief description of the underpants you are wearing
Just saw cops pull over the ice cream truck. What a dick
Well, think of it this way, if this were 200 years ago your father would have received the most goats in all the village for your fertile loins. Think about that.
You rolled out of the car, got on all fours and puked then just nonchalantly stood up and waved goodbye and thanks for the ride.
You can't have your penis and eat it, too.
Somehow I don't trust you in this state to talk to you about a colonoscopy
the only good thing about him lasting five minutes was that nobody thinks i had sex with him or that im a slut because we were only in the bathroom for five minutes
FYI I just found your friend. Asleep. In. My. Kayak. In. Pool.
see these eyes, they just want to bone and go to sleep.
Pissed along side the highway while waving at all the traffic... if thats not a sign of a productive night to come then idk what is
Oh and apparently something happened that was related to "THIS IS SPARTA" but no one will tell me what I did.
So I'm going to blame my boobs hurting on that.
If my drunken penis pic is ever to be forgiven id like to start over with all that
Went to my bottom drawer for my stash , gone just a note says thanks sucker love dad
don't do laundry while your drunk! i found a ketchup bottle & clothes hanger in the washer this morning!
Randomize
