Yea. But u kept saying "as long as she doesn't have aids" so I was concerned
We got blackout for the alumni dinner, and then walked THROUGH the keynote speaker, managing to still say "excuse me".
dude, seriously he just sucked the milk out of the dogs breast and swallowed it... for $20, wtf....?
I miss being able to drink at 11am just cause it was sunny outside.
I'm relatively certain my chiropractor just judged me for admitting that my back is misaligned from the sex we had last night...
How many times can I tell him that I wasn't expecting sex before he finally figures out that I'm just too lazy to shave?
I'm sick of being the only unemployed member of the group. Doing things alone isn't partying. Its sad.
Mid way while flirting with this super hot chick at the bar, he gets up and says no thanks I'm only 19 and gay just waiting for my buddy to hurry up and get with your friend.
Stop whining I left you with whiskey
YOU LEFT ME WITH WHISKEY ALONE IN A CABIN IN THE MIDDLE OF NOWHERE I AM GOING TO DIE.
There's a picture of you on facebook laying in the street with 3 cops standing over you after you faceplanted off that guy's shoulders.
Is that what happened to my face?!
I just called the on campus pharmacy and asked the pharmacist to tell me how each one of my medications will react with "excess alcohol consumption". And I'm not even ashamed...I've reached a new low.
Just considered playing a drinking game with powerade with my sister so she would get some fluids in her. I do so well with sick people.
Pandora was on point with the sex music tonight
It’s just hard to believe you really care about me when u haven’t touched my dick in 2 months
ya well i woke up to my roommate spraying me with windex...
Randomize