Im starting to think including a smiley face in texts may or may not be a code for 'lets have sex'
Im going to research this theory. . .
i wish peter jackson would direct porn
his dog just threw up on me too. its like im a throwup magnet to that family.
Um, yeah. You lit my birthday candles with a joint. Mom= not happy.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just threw up on my desk at work. They are making me go home.
They're here. One showed up as a slutty Crayola, and I think the other came as The Fat Friend.
she blew me in the men's room in the restaurant. it was a french bistro, so it was okay
You said that about some fat chick sitting on the base of a lamp post and puking. Downright heroic.
I just wish I could congratulate your tits on how much I love seeing them
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I need to get a job that holds me accountable for something. Otherwise I wake upon Monday wondering when the booze store opens and if I still have a boyfriend.
Well, if it makes you feel any better I'll be drinking tequila and doing lines on Halloween. Just like old days.
I sense lesbianism
That's a weird power
But how MUCH of an emergency? Like, should I go to the ER now, or can it wait until after the bar crawl?
Also, what day were you thinkin we should trip balls at the children's museum?
I don't know, all I remember is waking up at 4 in the morning to him going down on me.
Randomize